Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
