I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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