Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
