I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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