Kiss
Puke
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
