I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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