Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
