the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
