So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize