some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
