You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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