happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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