Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
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