ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
