You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
