I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
