I want to walk on stilts...naked
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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