I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
