adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
