what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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