I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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