If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize