So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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