My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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