D3 body, D1 cock
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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