Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
