your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
