my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
