Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
