I wish I only lived at night.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
