We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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