Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
