Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
