I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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