i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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