i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
