And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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