I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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