He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
