Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Michael Bay diarrhea
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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