u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
