This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
