You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
