i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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