There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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