dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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