How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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