Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
