Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
