And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
