Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
