i just had sex bonerless
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
