Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
