I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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