dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
