Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
