Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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