I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
