I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
