I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
